Perspective

Man how much does music rock. I think it must be the greatest thing in the world to be a musician. To have your song touch so many people, whether it be making them feel sad, angry, or might be the only ray of sunshine to their gloomy day. How awesome a feeling that must be.

I have been so down lately. Lots of reason's but some more important than others. It's mainly to do with that next step... how I'm tired of the carrot being dangled in front of my face and as hard as I try I can't reach it (I don't even really like carrots, I'll change it to a peanut butter sandwhich) ...and how I'm tired of waiting (not even completely sure what I'm waiting on) ......and how I want to finally, after 3 years of marriage and almost 27 years old I want Tony and I to be able to do what we want and start our life together b/c I still don't feel like that has happened ....and I want to know what I want and which direction I should go next.....and how there are so many changes I want to make but I never seem able to make them .... (Ok well I wasn't going to get into it but all that just came out in a very condensed fly by ) This is the reason me-thinks, that I haven't posted lately. I couldn't push my thought's together enough and in the right order to type them down. I still haven't, but ----

The other day (ok this is how big of a dork I am) Tony sent me a video to the new Sims (a video game) trailer. The video featured a song of Natasha Bedingfield's, and it made me think how much I like her music and how I haven't gotten her new cd yet. So I went to ol' trusty iTunes, and downloaded her.

Well after downloading, I hit random, and the first song that played just made my mouth drop because it was EXACTLY what I needed. And I mean to the tee. It made me cry and smile all at the same time. So I figured instead of trying to rack my brain trying to put down my thoughts (I'm already getting a headache), I would just put down the lyrics to that song.

It just put things in perspective for me. I mean I swear it was written just for me, for this moment.

So after friend love and soul-mate love and listening to this song again today, I am better. Not completely, but better. (TV love, Steph love and Xander love should help alot tonight too ;)

Landlords knocking at my door cussing me out
Got laid off my job the night before
Can't figure how
I'm gonna fix tomorrow away
If today's still a mess
Can you tell me what's the point man,
It all seems meaningless
I wish that I could step away and breathe
This world's trying to swallow me
Clear away the clouds inside my head

Someone just tell me
That it's ok now
What are you worried about

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

People lie, people hide, people cry, people fight

And they don't know why
If fear is all that we should fear
Then what are we so afraid of
Cause fear is only in our heads

Someone just tell me
That it's ok now
What are you worried about

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

Any day i'll go bad thinking bad
Everyone is against me and the world wants to fight me
Preparing to battle and enemy unseen
During my stressing I'm blinded to the lesson
That could be a blessing if I'd be confessing that the enemy
I'm trying to beat is hiding inside of me

But it's ok now.... what are you worrying about....

Keep your grind on girl....it's your love, it's your world....