The Plan

Goal for this week: Get closet cleaned out, go through all clothes and put in a bag what doesn't fit anymore instead of saying "oh I just have to loose some weight and I'll be able to wear this" so I can see exactly what I need for my new job! Times like these I love my iPod and iPod radio.

Also I am cleaning out other crap from my room and the closet... to make room for only the things I need. There are still college text books from 5 years ago in there. These kinds of things have to go.

All this is happening because Tony and I have decided to stay here atleast a few more months. I am bound and determined to finally save up some money. I am so excited to finally have a great job and that means income. With this I plan on getting back where I used to be.

When I first started out on my own, I lived with my brother in this great little house. I worked and went to school. I paid close attention to the money. I was extremely proud of the fact that I was so organized with my bills, I was never late on paying anything, my checkbook was always balanced. I put a portion of every single paycheck into both savings and my 401K. I had flawless credit. I was making a great start to my future. I was determined to never let any of that slip away.

Well, it did. I don't know where it all went wrong. Maybe the fact that I had an overbearing, penny pinching dad growing up who drilled it into our heads to be this way and instilled a fear of not having money later on in life if your not careful was exactly the thing that eventually made me stop paying attention. Maybe it was some sort of rebellion. It was not easy growing up in a household like that. It certainly did not help that I lost my job, got married and my husband and I started having job problems left and right. Alot of moving caused misplacement of bills, alot of job losses caused misplacement of income. All of that caused misplacement of hope.

Whatever the cause, whatever the problem, I am now rectifing it. For a while now I have been re-organized with the bills. I have been proud of myself for getting them all back to their minimum payments and keeping it all organized. I have been thinking about the future, and doing all in my power to make it better. That was one major good thing that came out of moving to Montgomery. That alone will keep me forever grateful for that decision, and the reason I will never say that move was a mistake.

But now I will have the income to make some major changes. It is a big , no, a huge step and makes me feel good inside. I actually have hope now. That's all I've needed for a long while now. Hope. Hope for getting things taken care of that have been sorely neglected, hope to be able to start a family, hope for a place of our own, hope for making mine and Tony's life together much better. I just have to remember to keep the blinders on...to not think about the past and how much time I feel like I have wasted because that is my biggest pitfall. Always look forward. What's done is done. All that matters is that after so long being stalled, I'm getting in gear.